My thoughts on.... e.l.f. eyeshadow palette

Over the past month of so I've fallen back in love with make-up. It's a love affair that died about 11 years ago, but has recently been rekindled. I love just playing. Mostly though it revolves around my eyes. There isn't too much I can do with my lips as they are either nude or pinkish- I'm not a fan of purple, blue, or even red lipsticks on myself. I do wear blush, but not too often, as I think with my eyeshadows it tends to be over the top and I come out looking like a clown.

Eyeshadows can be really expensive though. Especially when you're trying to find the perfect color, and the perfect color is really important to me. My make-up budget is pretty limited, so you won't find me on the Sephora website anytime soon; although I wish I had a couple hundred to just blow because I'm certain I could spend hours upon hours, from open till close in one of their stores. But mostly my make-up comes from the drugstore, up until recently, from Target (Post idea! I'll explain there), and other like stores. I'm not really a big Cover Girl fan, I'm not sure what it is, but their products just don't seem to apply to me. I love Maybelline (the only mascara I use), Loreal, and Revlon.

Anyway though, while at Target a couple weeks ago, I finally picked up the e.l.f. (eyes, lips, face) 100 color eyeshadow palette for only $10.00.

I debated it for a couple weeks. It's price was what really deterred me from it. There was no way that all those eyeshadows for only 10 bucks could be of good quality and it would surely be a waste of $10.00. But wasn't that what I was doing already buying other shadows that weren't the color I'd hoped they'd be? Surely I could chalk up $10.00 and if it sucks, it sucks, but if it doesn't suck, then I've saved myself a lot of moolah!

So, finally after a couple weeks of looking and looking I finally picked it up. And you know what? I. Love. It. Best 10 bucks I've spent in forever. These colors are highly pigmented and go on so silky smooth. They do tend to crease after 8-10 hours of wear, but so doesn't every other shadow I wear, so no biggie. But I do totally love them and it's definitely something worth picking up if you love eye shadows too. 

Here's a couple pictures I took from my camera phone, hence they're not the best quality, but you definitely get an idea of how pigmented they are. 

This is my clouds, sky and grass look by the way.

In summary, definitely by this if you love eyeshadows- either for yourself or someone else you know. They will love this Christmas gift! Or add it to your own Christmas list, I don't think you'll be disappointed!

(This review is not endorsed and I didn't receive any moolah. They are more than welcome though to send me free things to write about if they'd like though, hint, hint!)

Will you please just sit down when you pee?

This has been a pet peeve of mine for as long as I can remember. There's never been a time when it hasn't just grated against my patience and my nerves. It just aggravates the ever living day lights out of me. And when I sit back and think of all the silly little pet peeves that I have, which are pretty abundant mind you, the worst ones have to deal with public restrooms.

1st up: Sit Down On the Toilet Seat To Pee - No Squatting Allowed


Yes, that's right, ladies. Sit your ass down on the toilet see when you pee. Don't hover, don't try to pee standing up. We weren't made to. If we were, we'd be men rather than women. So just sit your ass down already. I'm so tired of walking into a public bathroom stall and having to wipe up your yellow sprinkles after you used it. For the longest time I couldn't figure out how you could actually miss, I mean, you're sitting over the hole, it's a direct shot. It never occurred to me that women would actually not sit on the seat, I mean, we're women, and it's a seat, that's what we do. What are you afraid of that you can't sit down and pee in the hole? Ahh.. let me guess, you think you might actually catch something from the toilet seat right? Because other women hover over it and sprinkle their pee on it, just like you, leaving behind goodies that if you sit on with multiply into full blow gonorrhea and AIDS, right? Well, you're wrong. First of all, pee is sterile. Meaning that organisms can't reproduce in it. And let me just copy and paste here from Webmd.com just in case you don't believe my smartness on this topic..

"No doubt about it, there could be a witch's brew of germs wherever you turn in public restrooms. Many people consider toilet seats to be public enemy No. 1 -- the playground for organisms responsible for STDs like chlamydia or gonorrhea. But before you panic, the toilet seat is not a common vehicle for transmitting infections to humans. Many disease-causing organisms can survive for only a short time on the surface of the seat, and for an infection to occur, the germs would have to be transferred from the toilet seat to your urethral or genital tract, or through a cut or sore on the buttocks or thighs, which is possible but very unlikely.

 "To my knowledge, no one has ever acquired an STD on the toilet seat -- unless they were having sex on the toilet seat!" says Abigail Salyers, PhD, president of the American Society for Microbiology (ASM).

And unless you rubbing your vagina all over the seat, your fears are obviously unfounded. So sit down already.

2nd: If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweety and wipe the seaty

That little poem is from a friend's bathroom when I was little and it's stuck with me ever since. There is not one time that has ever gone by since then that I haven't checked the toilet seat after going to the restroom to make sure I didn't sprinkle- regardless of whether I'm at home or in public. Because even though I sit on the toilet seat, there is the RARE occasion when my pee just goes haywire and manages to get under my butt check and end up on the seat. But I always check and if I've left a sprinkle, I wipe it up. It's not that hard. You make a mess, you clean it up, it's as simple as that and takes a mere two second. And if your one of those that just absolutely refuses to sit down and sprinkles everywhere, make sure your double, triple check.

3rd: Flush the Toilet, and if it's an automatic toilet, make sure it flushes or flush it yourself


My experience with automatic toilets is 50/50 .. 50% of the time they work, 50% of the time they don't and I still need to push the button to flush it myself. You should do the same. Just because it doesn't flush immediately doesn't mean it's broken and besides sitting on a wet toilet, there's not much worse than walking in on a full house if you know what I mean, and I'm not talking about poker hands here. I don't care if you're one of those uptight people and use your foot or your elbow or your ten foot pole, just flush the toilet. There are no "if it's yellow let it mellow" rules when it comes to public restrooms, everything falls under the flush it down category.

4th: Poop gets flushed right away, before your done,  even before you've wiped 


Poop smells. Really bad. Other people's poop smells even worse. So as soon as you've pooped, flush it down. Get rid of it. I know it's still going to smell. It doesn't kill the smell all together, but let me tell you, it makes a hell of a huge difference- rather than letting it sit there and air out while you clean yourself up. And if you have multiple poops, then flush after each one. So what if you flush 5 times- it's better to get rid of the stench than just wait it out and kill every one else who enters the bathroom, nevermind the poor women stuck in the stall next to you. Plus, that way your guaranteed to only have clean water splash on your butt when it plunks in. :)

5th: And for Heaven's sake, wash your hands after you use a public bathroom people


I mean, come on. You're so worried about catching something from the toilet seat, that you won't sit on it. You refuse to flush the toilet with anything besides your hospital booty covered foot. Yet, you just walk right out like you've avoided all the bathroom germs and you need not wash your hands before pulling on the handle and opening the door. Like, EW!! Because, while your pee may be sterile, your poop certainly is not. Here's the best explanation I've been able to find as to why this is necessary-

"The bigger problem is that lots of people use the bathroom and they might not be as neat as you.  

Poop, especially, contains a lot of germs, including E. coli, which can make you sick. Those germs are tiny and invisible, so they can be hiding on the faucet, doorknob, and other bathroom surfaces.

In the bathroom, you can easily get some germs on your hands and, if you don't wash up properly, you just might take them with you. Those germs could get into your body and make you sick — like if you eat your lunch with those unwashed hands. Or you could make someone else sick — like if you give a new friend a nice handshake with those germy hands and then she goes and eats her lunch!"

So, those are my 5 biggest public bathroom pet peeves. And I bet now that you read them and have become more aware about them, they will end up being some of yours too. And while I'm sorry for that, I'm also really thankful because that's one.. or two.. less people sprinkling on the seat.

Quality Time

One of my favorite things in the whole wide world is playing Wii with my mum.

She's really one of the coolest people I know, even if she does bug the crap outta me on occasion. I guess that's just what happens when you're an only child.

(I'd also like to draw your attention to two things in this picture.. first, why I call her little mommy and second, that yes, while we might be California Transplants, we still represent the purple and yellow (we were pretty excited by their championship win this past season.))


But, let me just say that there are few things I love more than hanging out in the living room playing Wii with her. It's during those times that I just feel so incredibly blessed to have the family I do and the opportunity to do such simple things like that with them.

It makes me almost glad I moved back in. Almost.

The Shake-Up

Earnest Hemingway once said, "The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for and I hate very much to leave it.” Unfortunately for Hemingway however, he did have to leave it and at one time or another, we all will. As the saying goes, the only two things you can be sure of in life are death and taxes. 


Even though death is certain, it certainly doesn't seem to make it any easier to deal with. We're surrounded by it non-stop in our day to day lives and on T.V. Every one has lost a loved one, a cherished friend, a pet that was closer to us than perhaps even our own siblings are, but all of these losses never seem to make it any easier to bear when it's time for the next one to go. 


And death is a funny thing, because even in death, people are never remembered as they truly were, but rather it seems as some sort of ethereal being. I'm not sure if this out of respect for the dead- as in you can't talk badly about those who have passed, or whether it's some sort of subconscious thing. I tried googling it to see if there was something written about it, but there wasn't. And I'm sure I could log on to my school's website and research it in the psychology journals, but really, who wants to do that? But the fact none the less remains, that we just don't talk bad about the dead or even the reality of what the person was like. I'm sure we had no problem bad mouthing them when they were alive though. I told you, it's a funny thing, death is. 


When it does come to death however, I find that I tend to deal better with it than most. There's a couple reason for this I think. One being that I truly do believe in God and the bible and all that it says about death. I believe our lives here are like kindergarten- we're just getting started, learning the basics. And therefore in death here, we are then reborn into a new life there. The second is that death is sad, it is painful, but it happens. There's no getting out of it, you can only attempt to delay it as long as possible, but inevitably, when it's your time to go, you will go. Another reason is logic I think. You can only be upset for so long and then you need to get over it. 


My family was recently caught off guard by the death of one of my mom's sisters. She was having a "routine" surgery and passed away due to complications. It seems that everyone was shaken up, except for me. Oooh, it figures. It's just that, in life, she really wasn't that nice of a person (there I go, breaking the rules!) and we weren't close.. at all. In fact she wasn't close with anyone, not even her children (this is me stating facts, not bad mouthing). However, I do hope that she made it to heaven, regardless, but I'm just not terribly upset about it. 


I think part of the shake up was due to her age. She died young, we just don't expect people to die at 50 now when the age expectancy is well into the 80s. But I have a long way to go to 50, especially since I'm never going to be older than 27. Also, we consider surgeries so routine now that for people to die during them is startling- thank you ER and Gray's Anatomy. Another reason I blame for the shake up is that the death of other's forces us to confront our own fears about ourselves dying. It causes us to think about what happens after this, what are we living for, what will we leave behind us, among other things. I think this is why it was especially hard on Gramps. 


However, I also find that in death there is comfort. No matter who you are, I know life is a struggle for you. We all have hard ships that we fight constantly to overcome and there is a peace that comes with death knowing that that person no longer has to face that. No longer will they be hurt, or hungry, or weary, no, they have moved on to a place which we can only dream of and will have to wait until it's our turn to experience. 


But, then that of course makes us begin to fear death again... it's rather cyclic isn't?

Profession Procrastinator...

I wait until the last minute for everything.

Here is is 11:33 p.m. and I'm just now getting around to studying for my Italian test that's tomorrow. And it's not like I even have time to study tomorrow because I'm working up until an hour before I need to be to class. And I really, really want to sleep.

But, see, even now! I'm blogging when I should to be studying! And then there's Treasure Isle to play on Facebook (don't judge me, it's better than your silly farm-whatever-you-call-it), and there's other people's blogs I need to read, and blogs that I need to write, and messages and emails I need to reply to, and.. well, you see what I mean.

This doesn't just apply to studying though, I wish I could say it did though.

I can't tell you how many times I've run out of gas in this past year alone, my dad could though.

Or how I wait until the very last minute and then a little longer to get my oil changed.

I once went 6 months past the due date on my car inspection.

I can never pay my phone bill on time (and I wish I could say it's because I didn't have the money).

And with Christmas right around the corner, do you actually think I'll get done early or even semi-early this year? Nope. I won't. And I only have 3 people to buy for. That's it. Let's just hope I can get them their presents before Valentine's rolls around.

A celebration!

Cheers!!

This is kind of a celebration of sorts really.

I've finally made it to 200 visitors. Most I'm sure come from me incessantly posting it on my Facebook, but not all. How do I know this you ask? Well, I've had 2 visitors from Malaysia!- and no one on my Facebook is in Malaysia. And you know what else is exciting? I have 4 subscribers to my RSS feed. 4 people who like my blog so much that they want instant updates on when I post. That's awesome!!

So a big thanks to my 200 visitors, especially the 2 from Malaysia- you rock, and another big thanks to my 4 subscribers- you super rock!!

A Birthday Ode.

This past weekend was one of my best friend's birthdays. It's safe to say that I love her unconditionally. She is my side kick. The Thelma to my Louise. The Robin to my Batman. The Cheech to my Chong. The Ren to my Stimpy. Okay, let's stop there, I think you get the point.

I just love her and adore her and think the world of her. In a non romantic way though. It's just that I'm pretty absolutely positive I wouldn't have made it through this last year, and whether she knows it or not, I, in a very real way, owe her my life.

Our coordinating outfits were completely by accident, but not surprising. I also love this because my blue eyes almost look blue, at least in the original. I think it loses something being upload and shrinked. 

As you can see here, sort of, I've perfected the smokey eye. It's taken a lot of practice and a lot of screwing up, that's for sure. Here I did a royal blue smokey eye to add some interest. 

And so even though her birthday was earlier in the week, we waited until the weekend to celebrate. I wish I could tell you that I got completely hammered and don't remember much after this picture, but that  unfortunately didn't happen. Although I really didn't try all that hard either. I'm kind of over having the spins and puking. But we did have dinner and then went to a couple bars. It's been a while since I posted some photos, so let's get it on..  hopefully they don't mind!

 

This is her and her love. I absolutely adore them together. The three of us tend to hang out fairly often and they most certainly aren't that couple that makes you feel like you're the third wheel because they're in their own little foreplay making out world. 

This is one of my other great friends and her boyfriend. They're pretty cool too, except he doesn't really talk. She pretty much does this in every picture that's not of her directly. I'll write a post on that someday proving it. 

Another great friend and myself. We tend to share a brain most of the time. 

My favorite couple again. This is one of my favorite pictures of them. They don't know the camera's there and it's kind of intimate moment that you really don't see between them too often. Not that they don't have them, they're just not flashy about it where as others are. 

But, to my dearest friend, here's wishing you another 27th birthday all over again (we decided we're no longer climbing up the age ladder). Thank you for being you. You are amazing. 

Love, Me. 

I'm allergic to winter.

I hate winter- I'm allergic to it. Quite literally.

As soon as the warmth of the summer begins to fade and the chilliness of fall starts to set in, my allergies and asthma flare right up. They don't come on slow and perpetually get worse as the temperature drops, they start off like a freight train and stay at full force until the snow finally melts and the temperatures once again start to rise.

It's like I said, I'm allergic to winter.

Allergies themselves wouldn't be so bad if you took away the asthma. That would only leave me with having to take Zyrtec and Flonase once a day. I could handle that. But then you add on the asthma and Advair twice a day and my inhaler when needed and I instantly feel like a medicine cabinet- like I'm taking 80 pills a day just to breathe. Nevermind if I wake up with a headache, then add a couple Tylenol to the picture.. and well, you get my point.

It wasn't always this way though. I grew up in So. Cali where it's always summer and in the 16 years that I lived there, I never once had a problem. Which only strengthens my argument that I'm quite literally allergic to winter. Although, I'm pretty sure that growing up there is what contributed rather directly to my asthma. It wasn't until I moved to New Hampshire and experienced my first couple winters that my allergies started rearing their ugly head. And it was only a few years after that that my asthma decided to pop up and say hello. And it seems like now every winter they get a little worse than the winter before.

Lucky me.

And let's not even start talking about when I get a cold, which is basically the entire winter with a week or two break in between.

I've often looked for natural remedies to help ease the burden, but outside of moving to a warmer climate, I've yet to find something I can really stand behind and say, Hey! This works! .. I'm totally open to suggestions though.

I have a post coming up on Tumeric which is suppose to be a pretty big deal, however, I've found it's only useful as a spice and on my face. I read a lot about how you can use it in milk and it helps clear up inflammation all over the body, unfortunately though, it tastes pretty foul so that did not happen. Now I'm trying out Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) currently and we will see how that goes. I don't really have high hopes on it, but I'll have a post on that as soon as I come to a conclusion.

Church fail..

This past Sunday was a complete church fail. 

I’m going to blame it on the night of drinking that preceded. 

Wait... I think that’s a church fail too. 

Doh!

I ended up wearing a black bra.. underneath a white shirt. I can’t even begin to tell you how embarrassed I was  as I stood there in the perfect bathroom light noticing it for the first time. I prayed and prayed that no one would notice and that the lighting for the rest of the morning would be on my side. Thankfully the sanctuary lighting is relatively dim in comparison, but unfortunately this was my week to serve at the book stand- meaning half my time was spent outside of the sanctuary in bright and natural light. 

I do have two defenses to this atrocity though, maybe three if I can be that creative. For one, I didn’t even put two and two together until it was obviously too late and the second is that I was wearing an undershirt- just like always. I grew up wearing them whenever I stayed with my grandmother and if I don’t wear one, I feel like I’m going commando. Needless to say, I wear one under everything and up until now I’ve never had to think twice about the color of my bra. It wasn’t until now that it failed me. And now I’ve forgotten the third. 

My thoughts on.... Sake.

friend: Hey, I thought you said you had Sake?

me: Uh, I do

friend: Dude, I can't find it anywhere!

me: Did you check the bathroom closet where the towels are?

friend: .... 

Yes, my friends, Sake is no longer just for drinking and yes, I do keep mine in the bathroom with the towels.

A few days ago I watched Michelle Phan's video on youtube (check her out btw) recommending Sake as a facial toner and figured I'd give it a go. I've tried just about all of her recommendations regarding these types of things and will be posting my thoughts on those in the weeks to come.  

In prepping for trying this out I made sure to do some additional reading on it first. I like to see if anyone has posted about having bad results or reactions and what exactly Sake is suppose to do- what am I going for here, what should I expect.. ya know?

Well, the biggest thing I learned is that Sake is suppose to fade age spots and freckles- I don't have much of those if any, but I like to pre-emptive.  There's a by-product of fermentation in Sake called Kojic acid and apparently it's suppose to be kind of a big deal. I've never heard of it though before now. Anyway, it's also suppose to have antibacterial and anti-fungal properties, meaning it should reduce breakouts (we could all use that) and it's also suppose to trap in moisture making it good for dry skin. 

So after doing some light reading, I decided to give it a go. I've found using natural products as opposed to marketed beauty products is a lot easier on my wallet, and in this respect, Sake did not disappoint. I also prefer natural remedies versus marketed ones for the obvious reason of them being natural. I was able to get a small bottle of Sake for $2.99, which is a lot cheaper then any marketed facial toner in the skin care aisle. 

I washed my face first, removing all my make up and leaving nothing but clean, naked skin behind. I used a cotton ball, soaked up some sake and wiped it all over my face. I didn't find that it wiped away any left behind dirt (guess I did a good job washing!) and it did leave my face feeling fresh. It didn't burn (not even on an icky pimple I have), which at 15% alcohol, I kind of thought it might. It has a nice clean scent, doesn't upset the nose at all and it doesn't feel sticky after it dries. I did let it dry and then wipe it with a wet washcloth just in case, but I won't do this the next time. 

Right away my face seemed to look a little glowey (which is a good thing) and fresh. After an hour, my face feels a little drier than normal, but it's definitely softer to the touch. This is something I plan on keeping up for the next two weeks and I'll report then whether I notice a difference and if I'll be keeping it up long term or not. 

However, in summary, I'd say definitely give this a shot, for $2.99 I don't think you'd be wasting your time or money. 

My thoughts on...

I decided to start a new section entitles.. "My thoughts on..."

This is meant to be a review section of various different new things that I try and like.. or don't like and want to save you the time and effort of trying them yourself only to find out they suck.

At first I thought this might just be beauty things.. facial cleansers, new make up, etc., but then I realized that I could really review a lot of different things because I'm trying new things all the time- whether it be wine, or food, or beer, or household cleaners, or candles.. and well, you get the idea.

All of these reviews will be unpaid, unless some one, some where decides they want to compensate me for it, which I doubt, but in case, would be open to, as long as they don't mind me saying I don't like it, if in fact I don't. Honesty is the best policy.

So anyway, my first review will be on Sake (the Japanese wine) as a facial cleanser/toner. That should be up tomorrow.

And if there's anything you think I should review, let me know and I'll think about it!

Giving thanks.

I like to think that I am thankful everyday, not just on the fourth Thursday of November each year.

But, because today is Thanksgiving and it seems to be a tradition of listing what you're thankful for today, I thought I would too.

And, honestly, I think it's a good habit to get into- listing all that you're thankful for- it makes you more aware of how fortunate you really are and therefore changes your mindset.. but now I'm getting off topic.

So, in no order of importance, here's just a smidgen of what I'm thankful for this year.

1.) That I did in deed make it through this past year. It was a rough one and honestly a little touch and go for a while.

2.) God.

3.) My family and friends.. I'm truly blessed in this regard

4.) A job. It may not be my favorite, but it's a job and it pays my bills.

5.) My health. My lungs hate me, but that pales in comparison to anything else.

6.) All the material things that make my life so much easier- my reliable car, nice clothes, my iBook, my cell phone.. all possible through my job so I guess this is a continuation of #4

7.) My ability and the freedom to get an education

8.) That I live in a country that believes in certain inalienable rights- the right to vote, to free speech, to elect our government officials, to be innocent until proven guilty, to bear arms, to do as I please with my body.. etc.

9.) Food .. I love it!

10.) My family's health.

11.) Wine .. specifically Barefoot Moscato <3

12.) That I'm so loved and supported in all that I do by amazingly awesome people everywhere I go.

I'd love to know what you're thankful for though!

P.S. I hope your turkey came out good! I can't wait for more leftovers tomorrow!

Peanut Butter Pie

There's a local restaurant around here that makes the most amazing Peanut Butter Pie (PBP) you could ever dream of. I usually have to order it with a side of vanilla ice cream just to break up the peanut butter a little bit. I've tried to recreate it a couple times, but never found a recipe that came super close. Until now.

I might add that it was while making this pie that I realized how much it would suck to be allergic to peanuts. Can you imagine? Oh, the horror!

But, anyway.

The Players:

You'll need a 9" chocolate pie crust, 12 oz. container of whipped topping (Cool Whip), 1 jar (11.75) hot fudge ice cream topping, 1 c. peanut butter, 8 oz. cream cheese, 1/2 c. sugar

 In a bowl mix together cream cheese, peanut butter and sugar. If you like a really thick, strong peanut butter flavor, add more peanut butter here. I think next time I'll add an extra 1/4 cup just to give it a little extra oomph. Don't worry though- it's still just as delicious if you leave it just as it is.

It should look like this. I could totally dig peanut butter cream cheese.

Then add 3 cups of the whipped topping and mix it all together. I used a spoon for this as I didn't want to over mix and ruin the whipped topping.

And, oh my it is so good. I could seriously just stop here and grab a spoon and enjoy life. 

 But, I have a pie to make. So scoop the filling out of the bowl and into your crust.

Smooth it out to the edges, making it as level as possible.

Now, take the lid off your jar of topping and then put it in the microwave for about a minute, no more, I'd probably o like 50 seconds. It's going to be really hot when you take it out, so becareful. Stir it together (I used a knife) and then pour it on top of your pie.

And then put your pie in the fridge for about 10 minutes, just long enough to cool the chocolate topping and let it set.

Once it's set, pull it out and take the rest of your whipped topping- about a cup and half- and spread it out on top of your pie, becareful not to mix the chocolate layer and the whipped topping layer.

The put it back in the fridge for a couple hours to set completely.

It's amazing! Enjoy!

Key Lime Pie!

This is definitely not a lime pie. This a super tart, super delicious Key Lime Pie (KLP). The difference is in the use of key limes.. or in this case, the use of key lime juice versus just lime juice. Key limes are a breed of limes all their own. The most obviously difference is their size, key limes are about half the size of your regular limes and their juice is far more acidic making it far more sour. Which in turn makes it the perfect lime for pie!

This was the first time I've attempted such a feat.. why I didn't do it earlier, I have no idea because it's super simple. I guess I just always thought that making KLP would be much too much work. But, lime is definitely one of my favorite flavors and I couldn't put it off any longer!

The Players:

You're going to need 1/2 cup of KL juice (you can use regular lime juice if you want.. but then you're just making a Lime Pie). You need 14 oz. can of sweetened condensed milk, the zest of 1 lime and the yolk from 4 eggs. 

First, set your over to 350 and let it warm up. Here's where you want to make your pie crust unless you're like me, then take the plastic covering off your store bought pie crust!

 This was by far the hardest part of the whole thing- de-whiting the eggs. This was the first time I've ever  had to separate the two- I've avoided a lot of recipes for just this reason, but I finally gave in. After cracking the egg, gently separate the two halves of the shells and let the whites drip out into a separate bowl then I put what was left onto a slotted spoon so the white could finish dripping off and then I plopped the yolk into the bowl. It does literally plop.  I've also found this to be flexible as well because I've seen some recipes that call for 3 yolks and some for 4.. so use what you've got!

 Then add your can of sweetened condensed milk to your yolks.

 Wisk together.

 Add your half cup of lime juice.

 Now you need the need the zest from one lime. I personally don't own a zester. It's the one kitchen tool my grandmother didn't leave me- which is amazing, because that woman had everything for the kitchen that they made- except a zester.

But don't let that deter you. I used my cheese grater, which has a tiny grater side that worked perfectly.

The only difference is that the pieces come out a little longer. No biggie!

 Mix all together in a bowl. I'm kind of fond now of the longer peels.. they add color.. dimension. They let you know that it is really a lime pie.

 Pour your mixture into your pie crust. But, hopefully, unlike me, you buy the correct size- a 9inch. I just grabbed one- the wrong one, but even that small set back didn't get to me. It still came out great! Even better if you love pie crust.

Now, put your pie in the oven for 15-17 minutes.

It come out like this. Then let it cool completely on a rack and then stick it in the fridge for about an hour and enjoy!

It's really frickin' amazingly good! 

What is about me that makes everybody want to cheat on their girlfriends with me?

Seriously, w.t.f.

And what is with me suddenly feeling bad about it? It's like Catholic guilt.

Except I'm not Catholic.

I miss the old me. The one who didn't care. Who didn't really have morals.

I used to be fun.

Cinnamon Raisin Egg Nog French Toast ..

or better yet, the most amazing FT ever. No, really. It is. Everyone I ever made it for has totally agreed to that too. And some of them weren't even related. I made this after having it at my favorite little breakfast place.

If you're not a big Egg Nog (EN) fan, you'll still love it. I promise. It doesn't really carry the flavor of EN, I think the EN just serves to make it richer. Either way it really is amazing, and easy, and simple!

The Players:

And you must use this bread.

Alright, so melt some butter in a pan.

And while the butter it melting, crack open your eggs into a large bowl. First, yes, you need to use eggs. Just because you're using EN in place of milk doesn't mean you can skip the eggs. I tried this. Learn from my mistakes. Second, make sure your bowl is wide enough for your bread. I use two eggs usually, but it's flexible. Sometimes I've had just one egg and it came out just as good. Unless you're making it for a lot of people.. then you need more than one egg. 

And pour in your EN. This is flexible too. I don't have a set amount, just whatever looks good.

 

Soak your bread. Make sure both sides are covered in this yummy mixture. 

As soon as your pan is hot enough, put in your french toast. I usually cook mine on a higher low flame, but cook yours however you like, just make sure it's cooked all the way because of the eggs. I guess undercooked eggs can make you sick.. or something? I kid. 

Make sure you pour yourself a glass of EN to drink while you wait. Rum is optional, but encouraged. Mine right here is virgin. 

I like mine on the brown, well done side. This is also my favorite pan because it's 100% all purpose. See how deep it is? It works for everything. 

When it's done, top is with butter and syrup and enjoy. 

And then be prepared to be addicted. Because I assure you, it will happen. 

Tornados. I hate them.

Tuesday one of my exs called and wanted to get coffee. So I said sure, I had some time before class and I hadn't seen him in a while, and I like catching up.

What I didn't expect was everything I ever felt to come rushing back and overtake me like a tsunami.

I ended up feeling like I got sucked into a tornado, spun all around and then thrown out in left field.

I had no idea what had just happened and no idea how it got there. It kind of came out of no where.

And after coffee, we ended up breaking up again- apparently I'm irresistible to him. But this only makes everything more confusing.

I was so lost and confused as to what had just taken place. I am still so lost and confused.

You know what I love?

You know what I love? When someone says to you.. I'm just not feeling it, but what are your thoughts?

What are my thoughts? Really? Is it just me or do my thoughts not really matter here? It doesn't seem to me as though this is a two way conversation.

Juuuuust sayin.

And here's the thing. It's not that I particularly care in this situation about the break off, there wasn't anytime to build an attachment, which I appreciate- don't drag it on when you know. But rather, it's the whole.. what are your thoughts on it .. I mean, really? What does it matter what my thought are on it?

Maybe it's just me, I don't know, but I know there's gotta be someone else out there who's with me on this.

Coming Soon....

A post? Maybe? Surely. I just had to wait until finals were over. And then, I just needed a few days of nothingness. No stress. Nothing that needed to be done, or written, or studied for, or planned out, or arranged. Just, nothing. And I can't even remember a time when I've enjoyed nothingness so much as I am now. Just today for instance, I went to yoga, came home, took a nap, went to a wake and then took another nap. And never once did I feel guilty about not studying, or not reading, or not trying to get ahead. Nope, not once. 

Not only that, but I still have 2 more weeks of nothingness to enjoy! 

I'm also hoping that somewhere in the next two weeks of nothingness I can get a few blogs written and saved so that I can just post them through my 9 weeks of Anatomy and Physiology. Topics to include, How to Survive Bikram Yoga (because I have searched and there is nothing that I can find about how to survive it and I know there must be other people like me who want to know and so I will be the first to have a collective space about it, why you need to do it and most importantly, how to survive it), A recipe on rich delicious chocolate cheesecake (complete with a cookie crust), Painting a room red (my ex was suppose to help with this, but I guess breaking my heart was an easier option and so now it is a solo project), how my flower garden is coming along, and then whatever else I can possibly think of to write. 

Recipe for a Broken Heart Salve

Broken hearts are perhaps the hardest things in the world to heal. But, just like any other injury, it will heal itself in time. There is no cure all for broken hearts and while I have definitely been the victim of a couple in my past 26 years, this one is perhaps the worst. And so, I have started thinking of ways to help it heal, outside of just plain time and decided to share them in hopes maybe somebody else will find them as a helpful pain reducing ointment.

So, in order to make my broken heart salve, here is what you will need:

• Time (unfortunately)
• Tissues
• A really good support system
• A Hobby
• Something new that you are dying to try
• A mantra

    Time. The first ingredient. There is just no way around it and I know it absolutely sucks to hear. But, time does heal all wounds, and the broken pieces of your heart is no different then any other cut, scrap, bruise, sprain, break, that you might have received before. It takes time to heal just like all of those other things. It, of course, would be nice for it to heal quickly, but chances are, it won't. What is even more frustrating is that there is no time limit for how long it hurts. I hear sometimes that people say it will take twice as long as you were together, or half as long, or three quarters as long or some other random scientific calculation as to how long it will hurt, but honestly, there is just no time length. It can take a month. It can take a year. It can take 5 years for some (although, I hope that I am definitely not in that group). But each of us is different and while our wounds all heal differently, the important thing to remember is that they do indeed heal. 

    Tissues. Oh, you will need a lot of them. Like, a couple boxes a lot of them. If you're lucky. You're going to cry. It is just how it is. Please don't be one of those people who hold it all in, get jaded, build up these crazy walls and only end up hurting yourself in the end because you're too scared to feel anything. Just cry. A lot. Get it all out. Crying scours the heart. Right now, I cry all the time. I am not shy about it. I cry on the phone. I cry in the car. I cry at work. I cry when I get home. I cry. A lot. But every time I cry, I feel a lot better. I purge all the hurt that I'm feeling in those tears and snot. I promise you there is nothing wrong with crying over a broken heart. You're hurting. It hurts like hell. And it aches. And boy oh boy does it ache. And it hurts. So cry. And it's okay to say a lot of negative things when you cry too, I do. The point is that it is really important to your moving on (in a healthy way) to get these feelings and emotions out and not bottle them up. 

    A really good support system. My mom holds me a lot when I cry, I ask her too. I guess it is one of the perks of moving back home. And during this process of healing I also told her that I just need her to constantly tell me that I'm going to be okay. All the time. Just tell me. And my friends? I told them the same thing. Just please constantly reaffirm to me that I am going to be okay. You need strong people around you because you're not always going to feel strong and you're going to need them to hold you up sometimes when you can hold yourself up. There is no shame in asking someone to just be there for you and comfort you and listen to you. I'll listen if you need me to. But you need people, don't isolate yourself, now is not the time. Isolate yourself when you have a deadline and a really big project, but not when you're hurting. 

    A hobby. You must stay busy. As busy as you can possibly stay. Now is the time to paint the room you've been putting off. Or start training for the marathon you really never considered ever running. Or clean the house. And then your car. And volunteer. You just need a hobby. I have school. Outside of work, school has turned into my hobby and I have completely thrown myself into it even more than I did before. I need to stay busy. The busier I am, the less time I have to dwell on anything. And it is the same for you too. 

    Something new that you are dying to try. This should also be of the really challenging variety, something that makes you feel like you're not going to make it through. That there is no way you can possibly do this. And that is exactly the thing you should do. I have personally taken on Bikram Yoga, which is yoga done in a room that is heated to 105 degrees. It is hot. And I grew up in California, but this is hot. And humid. And it lasts for 90 minutes. And every time I go, just making it through the class, even by just sitting.. or by lying there.. is exhilarating. It is inspiring. And it gives you nothing but 90 minutes of thinking about how to make it through your present situation without dying, because you don't have time to think about anything else. Which is really like a mental nap from everything else you've been thinking and mulling over. This is the single most difficult thing I have even done. And to make it through let's me know that I can make it through anything. 

    A mantra. Lastly, You need something that you can constantly repeat to yourself all the time. It needs to bring you comfort and enable you to focus and be in the present. It also needs to be something you believe. It needs not to be difficult, simple is just fine. Mine is that I'm going to be okay. I tell myself this all day long. All the while I'm crying and blowing my nose, I tell myself that I'm going to be okay. I have my mom tell me all day long. I have my friends tell me too. It brings me comfort and I believe it. I know I'm not going to be okay today or even tomorrow or maybe any time soon, and I don't need to be, but I know that eventually, eventually I will be okay. I will make it through this. 

    And these are all my ingredients for a broken heart salve. You can pick one or you can pick them all, or maybe you have other things that help that I might need to know too. I have found that everyday seems to get microscopically easier. I await the day that I will wake up and it won't hurt anymore. The day that I can stop sleeping with his sweater and pack away all the notes and mementos. I don't think that will anytime soon, but I know that day will eventually come. In the meantime, I need to surround myself in warm hugs and soft tissues. I just have to keep telling myself it will be okay and focus on not dying in yoga.